been a kpop fangirl for more than 8 years now, the thought "am I too old for this?" had occurred way more often than ever. I know liking something shouldn't be limited by age and I know there are other fans who share the same age, or even older, than me. but something still bothers me and I don't think age is the solely reason behind it.
you see, I've been feeling like I don't genuinely enjoy kpop anymore, at least like the way I used to. I still follow my fave groups (although it had narrowed down to only 1-3 groups/artists because ain't nobody got time to follow too many groups and their activities) but I've started to wonder for quite a long time if I'm still following them because I still love them and genuinely enjoy their music ... or just out of blind loyalty, if you know what I mean.
I feel like kpop nowadays (especially the last 2-3 years) is all about popularity voting, youtube MV views, digital charts, physical album sales, twitter trending topic, and majority of the fandom now are quite obsessed over numbers and achievements. don't get me wrong, I do agree that the things I just mentioned are indeed very important to keep our faves relevant in the industry especially in this era. however, it feels like they overshadow what in my opinion should be the most important thing in fangirling: enjoying the music and performance.
aside from the changing environment though, I do feel like ... I'm getting sick of kpop? like I said earlier, I'm not sure what still holds me here. I kept saying that my faves is the only reason why I'm still in kpop fandom, but ... it's just like when you're having a relationship with someone and you're not sure if you're still together because you still love them, or only because you're used to them. kpop has been my kind of sanctuary for the past 8 years and sometimes I feel like I keep coming back to it because I don't have better entertainment/distraction, you know what I mean?
so yeah idk. maybe all I need now is a great distraction.